What is the secret to happiness?
I believe the secret to happiness it is a little of column A and a little of column B, like most things really.
And so what are the headings of these columns that when combined, add up to happiness for us?
Part I of this series discussed our values as part of the secret to happiness.
Because if we don’t know what we value, but having our values met makes us happy, then this makes for a recipe for the opposite of happiness doesn’t it? And this is not necessarily un-happiness. It could be boredom, disconnection, lack of self worth, disenchantment, giving up hope, restlessness, conformity, depression.
The important thing to remember about our values, is just like our beliefs, lots of the values we are running our lives by are likely to have been unconsciously inherited from family and other role models. It is important to remember then, that if you do the work and discover you don’t actually value what you thought you did, just like that greyhound and the illusory piece of white fluff, happiness may be alluding you because you are chasing after something you don’t even want or value, or even put much thought into before. So choose. Choose away! What is important to you? Go after that!
Now to The Secret to Happiness – Part II.
Cause and Effect.
Yes – somewhere Physicists are smiling with glee, as the principle of Cause and Effect is a time honoured and oft witnessed phenomena of life on Earth, even predating Physics in fact!
But what does Cause and Effect have to do with happiness?
In answer let me ask you this?
If you were to choose which camp to be in, if both camps represented where you are in your life and your relationship to what is happening in your life, then which camp would you prefer to be in?
Would you prefer to be the Cause of your life and its circumstances?
Or would you prefer to be the Effect of your life and its circumstances?
Is it as simple as choosing between being The Victim or being The Warrior?
The Victim is most definitely stuck at Effect aren’t they?
Everything is happening to them. They have no control, no say, no power, no input.
Life is a series of random events or even sadder, the circumstances The Victim is experiencing are the result of some dour design or unfortunate luck. You can hear them can’t you?
“Of course! This always happens to me. Everytime I try, I fail and I get nowhere. Why bother? I don’t deserve this job/relationship/holiday/carpark”.
Whereas The Warrior is most definitely at Cause aren’t they?
Life is happening for them, not to them. They are dreaming, manifesting, creating, working, loving. Everything that happens in their lives, they own it. They step up to the plate and they hit that home run of responsibility. Good result, Bad (they’re all good!) result – The Warrior finds the silver lining, gets the message, grows, makes lemonade with those lemons!
And you can hear them too can’t you? “Damn! I wasn’t expecting that! But that’s ok. Interesting. Well, at least I can change xyz and get there anyway… or I’ll do this other thing now and remember that learning for next time… or well, at least I gave it a go and now I know!”
Are you the Cause of the circumstances of your life?
Do you feel like The Warrior?
Or are you the Effect of the circumstances of your life?
Do you feel like The Victim?
The great news is, you can change!
You can move from Effect to Cause for sure!
Step into your Warrior
Step into your Warrior.
Stop whining, complaining, comparing, judging, feeling sorry for yourself and step into your Warrior.
Be a best friend to yourself and give yourself a bit of a pep talk.
Yes – it has been tough and yes – your head has been hanging low, but that’s enough wallowing now.
Time to step up to the plate and have a hit.
Homers are great, but any old hit will do right now. Just get bat on ball.
You will find once you take that teaspoon of cement and bring a little self respecting perspective to bear on matters, hitting a home run will be exactly what you want and feel capable of doing. Because you’ve been in mothballs right? Until now.
Time to flex those muscles now.
You will find that grey really isn’t your colour at this time.
No middling around, testing the waters for you now.
Your soul is so impatient to BE now.
Go for it! Go for it like someone left the gate open!
Open the gate for yourself and move from Effect to Cause.
Embrace your inner strength and personal power and fly free.
If you stuff up, which you will if you are doing things for the first time, learn your lesson and move on… hilariously, to the next lesson!
But Warriors do it with style and a smile don’t they now?
Show me a man who never made a mistake and I’ll show you a man who never did anything.
~ Thomas Flanagan, my Grandfather.
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